Efficient Gagging

It could be argued that every culture has a trait or characteristic that defines its people to the rest of the world. For instance, there are the Kayan people of Myanmar that stretches the necks of their women from an early age as a sign of beauty. Or the Mursi of Ethiopia that put huge disks in their bottom lip as a sign of not being able to use as drinking straw. Or even the Sentinelese tribe of North Sentinel Island that is known for killing you. Then there are the German people of Germany known worldwide for sausages made from anything, driving 200 in a 35 zone, and gagging on their own language. And efficiency. Germans are among the most efficient people in the world. They are so efficient they only need to actually go to work 1 day a month. But what a day. This level of efficiency can be both a blessing and a curse. For instance, in a single layover, I experienced both. 

Our flight on "The Airline That Shall Not Be Named" made what was supposed to have been a quick pit stop in Niderhosen am Obergach (just saying it made me gag). The prospect of landing and escaping the jaws of the 737 of Doom was thrilling. Immediately upon seeing the "Fasten Restraining System" sign turned off, I and 200 of my best friends/fellow prisoners stood to our feet in anticipation of waiting. It was almost like when you take your dog out first thing in the morning and he rushes the back door as if wedging his nose into the gap between the door and the jamb with 250,000 pounds of pressure will make you open the door any sooner. And then you have to fight him to actually get the door open so he can get out. So it was that we rushed the door where we stood for approximately 6 days. Finally, the door opened and we caught our first breath of fresh, German air. The terminal was well-lit and inviting. The snack bar was open where you could buy a cup of coffee for 1500 Pfensters or a sausage made from something. Or you could purchase mementos of your time in Niderhosen am Obergach (I think I just gagged again) such as a T-Shirt that said, "I think I just gagged"! And then we settled in for the standard 6-28 hour wait while our extra parched plane roamed around the airport looking for water. However, given the efficiency of the characteristically efficient German people, we only had to wait 7.235 Magna Seconds before we were efficiently stuffed back into our own personal 737-sized flying metal sausage. 

Soon we were in the air again, dreaming of not being in the air again and fidgeting for comfort as efficiently as we could.